I work and work on the planning and the calendaring. I make committments on my Google Calendar. It is written on every calendar in the house. And yet - it is difficult to make happen. And I know the reason. I intellectually understand the cause. But my emotions and self talk get the best of me and I am quite regularly defeated. I know I must fight back and publish anyway - a day late and more than a dollar short.
I am having great difficulty writing a blog post and a simple resume because I have low self esteem. What would anyone find interesting about me? Why would anyone want to read about a person as lowly as myself? I have no life and it becomes more and more apparent every day that I have very few accomplishments. These statement run on one loop over and over in my head day after day and night after night.
But . . . it doesn't take much for me to set the loop aside and listen to a new loop: Just write about your ideas and your experiences and tell your story and someone will listen. Someone will care. I love my bravery at the stroke of midnight. I listen to show tunes and write about what I hope is important. The show tunes are so familiar and I relax a bit. The storytelling gets a bit easier. My ritual candle is lit. I hope you are reading this because if you are then I haven't chickened out and hit the "delete" button.
I fear this topic will raise it's ugly head once again but for now . . . I am hitting the "publish post" button, fingers crossed, eyes to the sky.